W  'b€$  S.'ccj 

m 


JL  ■  eu  ITJLjf  JXi 


[«  M  F 

»“  11  5 

s,  12  5 
Life,  10  4 


Bottle,  .  •  » 

Drunkard’s  Doom, 
Aunt  Dinah’s  Pledge* 


ottlSt  *. v 

M  F  J  MS- 

11  6  I  Temperance  Doctor,  •  •  10  « 

15  5  I  Fruits  of  the  Wine  Cup,  •  t 

6  3  I  Drunkard’s  Warning,  Ic)  0  8 


NO.  CCXYI. 

FRENCH  ’  S  MINOR  DRAMA 

ffjjf  feting  diifion. 


MY  YOUNG  WIFE 

AND 

MY  OLD  UMBRELLA 


A  FAE.CE  IN  ONE  ACT 


Adapted  from  the  IT  r  e  n  c  3ti . 


BY  BENJAMIN  WEBSTER,  Comedian. 


'<1  WHICH  ARE  ADDED 


A  description  of  the  Costume— Cast  of  the  Characters — Entrances  and  Exits* 
Relative  Positions  of  the  Performers  on  the  Stage,  and 
the  whole  of  the  Stage  Business. 


AS  NOW  PERFORMED  AT  THE  PRINCIPAL  ENGLISH 
AND  AMERICAN  THEATRES. 


NEW  YORK: 

Samuel  French  &  Son, 

PUBLISHERS, 

No.  13/8  Nassau  Street, 


L 


LONDON: 

Samuel  French, 

PUBLISHER, 

80  STKAND. 


•fx. 


BOOKS  EVERY  AMATEUR  SHOULD  HAVE. 

\fEUITS  GUIDE;  or.  Howto  Get  up  Home  Theatricals  and  to  Act  in  them,  with  Uulec,B^ 
•»  Selected  Scenes,  Plays  and  other  useful  information  for  Amateur  Societies.  Price25ctS 

fUIDE  TO  THE  STAGE.  15  cents.  ART  OF  ACTING.  15  cents. 

\  Anything  on  this  cover  sent  by  mail  on  receipt  of  price. 


The  person  charging  this  material  is  re¬ 
sponsible  for  its  return  to  the  library  from 
which  it  was  withdrawn  on  or  before  the 
Latest  Date  stamped  below. 

Theft,  mutilation,  and  underlining  of  books  are  reasons 
for  disciplinary  action  and  may  result  in  dismissal  from 
the  University. 

To  renew  call  Telephone  Center,  333-8400 

UNIVERSITY  OF  ILLINOIS  LIBRARY  AT  URBANA-CHAMPAIGN 


/ 

{ 


MY  YOUNG  WIFE, 


AND 


MY  OLD  UMBRELLA. 


21  .farce.  ~3n  (Due  2lct. 


J 


ADAPTED  FROM  THE  FRENCH. 

BY 


BENJAMIN  WEBSTER, 

COMEDIAN, 

author  of  “  Laughing  hyena,”  ‘‘Swiss  swains,”  “queen  of  the  market,* 

“  BELPKEGOR,”  “  GOLDEN  FARMER,”  ETC.  ETC. 


With  original  Casts \  Costumes ,  and  all  the  Stage  Business.  As  performed  at 
the  principal  Theatres  in  the  United  States.  Marked  and  arranged  by 
Mr.  J.  B.  Wright ,  Assistant  Manager  Boston  Theatre. 


J 


NEW  YORK: 

6  A  M  IT  E  L  F  R  E  N  C  H 

Vo.  122  Nassau  Street,  Up  Statbr. 


OQ 

P5 

H 

O 

W 

o 

o 

E-i 

CO 

<1 

O 


O  ®  a  C.-S  O 

gosa  35 
|8  ^W>4«j  * 
S  ^dhi  d 
B  ~  ~  2 

a  a —  a 

a 


-*-•  -V  w  —  H  S» 

<rf  CD  fc-  .  O  «l  O 

^  «h  k-  a  .2  ^  c 

d  3  2  o 

te 

Jl  w> 

O  S-, 

w  s —  a 


®  g  .■§  cT^r 

°  o 

^  ®  .2  rf  *2  S  n 

>'5&x  i 

g  H  ® 

h3 


H 

§ 

P 

H 

GO 

o 

o 


ft 


bbhS 

u  ® 

S 


3-2  -g 
SM  I 

c  H  £  . 
«  -J 
03  w.  c3 

73  3  o'0 

2  »*  S3  73 

go  a>  o> 

J  £f  >>  s 

o  *rfi 
•O  .  «  'C 

„  *h  O  ja 
-H  <V  O  . 
«  ~  73 

8  sf  so 

73  *1  «  fe 

u  n  ■  *“ 

*5  G  <u  73 
i2  o  j*  a 
cJ  j2  £- 
P,  *s  g  r/- 

g  §  £  S 

o  &  g'3 

»S  *“ 
1.1  §1 
3;gJo„- 

I  Q) 

St3t3  I  £ 

«!§si 

tH  ^  — 

«  -.2  Pm  13 

Oil3  O!  n 
C3  ©  o  3  g 
ta  a>  *-•  S 
a  a  %  5  « 
©  o>  o  &  -s 

5S  *5 


m 

if®  *1 


°  •-  -.2  *2 

b  n<2S  a> 

•  3  c  ^  & 

gs  *g|s  I 
S  a —  a 


g  |'||>'H  & 

!  |  il||  1 
|2  & 

S  ^sS=«  ^ 

.i  .2 


^  s'  a 
ft  .  g2 


5  ” 


d  2  5  g\g  « 

W  ^  c  I  S  DO 

c3 

.  03  .  ^ 

■s’fl^O  . 

u  .  .  .  2 


o  •  *s  _r  73 

o  «  „  a 

«  «o  S  g  a  * 
“So*  -g 

>  °  l  s  s  & 

o  p-  EH  K  CO  C« 


S  ®  c~  ~ 5? 

SH 

2  c  to  tT  2 
£>  b  iS  X5  £  .£« 

efl  w  03  ^31  d  -*-J  33 

W5 3 

A  ^  ^  ^  ~ 

°  g.si  s 


.  bo 

fc  .  .2 

„  t-  5  ^2 

.SS  3^  S3  £ 

ftS  o  b^r >  5 

a  ogJl  S 

b  PWOO  no 

O  Jj-  -  -  ^ 


B  »  | 

^  as  *<  » 

>-  flj  U» 
CS^  H  H 
O  a*  o  oj 

w  H  o  o 

cc  a  a  t-> 

OPO^ 


H  B 

J  ^  M 

N  .7.  2 

n  g  a 
2  o'  j  (2 
c  O  «  ^ 

►.£^3 
aw  a  h 

gee  a  tn 
M  C4  £J 


George  Allen.  —  Black  surtout  and  waistcoat,  and  white 
trousers. 

Augustus  Tomkins.  —  Light-green  surtout,  crimson  velvet  waist¬ 
coat,  light  jean  drab  trousers,  and  eccentric  hat. 

Dinah.  —  Light-blue  silk  dress. 


fl1- 

1 11< 


MY  YOUNG  WIFE,  AND  MY  OLD 
UMBRELLA. 


SCENE  I.  A  Chamber  2  and  3  g.  ;  a  door  in  f.  centre  ;  window  in 
flat,  R.,  looking  on  a  court  and  garden  ;  doors  R.  and  l,1k;  table 
on  r.  h.,  with  pens9  ink  and  paper;  two  chairs  on  R.  h.,  sofa  on  L.  • 
dinah,  l.,  and  prog,  r.,  discovered  seated;  dinah  at  work ,  prog 
reading  the  newspaper . 

Prog.  It ’s  all  true,  it ’s  all  true,  my  dear  Dinah  ;  the  news  I 
received  yesterday  is  confirmed  ;  my  beautiful  farm  of  Cutaway,  near 
Eton,  is  burned  to  the  ground  ! 

Dinah .  My  dear  father,  this  is  a  very  great  misfortune. 

Prog.  How  do  you  know  that  ?  Never  judge  by  appearances. 

Din.  Why,  surely,  my  dear  papa,  a  destructive  fire  like  this  — 
Prog.  (Rising.)  Hold  your  tongue,  Miss  Prog,  or  you  ’ll  put  me  in  a 
rage  ;  imitate  my  philosophy,  and  tune  up  «  The  Light  of  other  Days  ” 
on  your  piano. 

Din.  (Rising.)  But  you  know,  papa,  my  piano  is  out  of  tune. 

Prog.  What  does  that  signify  ?  can’t  you  play  on  the  keys  that  are 
in  tune,  and  let  them  that  are  not,  enjoy  the  air  with  me  in  silence  ? 
At  any  rate,  you  have  no  excuse  for  not  getting  it  put  in  order. 

Din.  I  have  spoken  to  Mrs.  Primmers,  next  door,  and  she  has 
promised  me  her  tuner  this  morning. 

Prog.  Well,  in  case  she  should  forget  it,  just  go  jog  her  memory. 
Dm.  Certainly,  papa,  I  would  not  cross  you  for  the  world  ;  this 
fire  is  enough  to  put  you  out  of  temper. 

Prog.  Look  at  me,  cool  as  a  cucumber  in  an  ice-pail.  Thanks  to 
the  march  of  intellect,  I  know  what  philosophy  is,  and  can  bear  this 
loss  with  the  calmness  of  a  Cato.  I  can  afford  it,  especially  as  it  was 
insured  in  the  Sun  fire-office. 

Din.  In  the  Sun  !  excellent  —  why,  my  Cousin  George  is  in  that 
office  ;  and  I ’m  sure,  if  he  could  be  of  the  least  service  to  you  — 

Prog.  Miss  Prog,  never  speak  of  that  young  man  to  me.  His 
means  are  so  small,  he  should  neither  make  love  nor  marry —  he  can’t 
afford  it,  so  I  have  desired  him  to  pay  his  addresses  and  visits  elsewhere. 
Dm.  I  m  sure  he ’s  a  very  nice  young  man. 

Prog.  How  do  you  know  that  ? 

Din.  By  his  appearance. 

Prog.  Never  judge  by  appearances. 


4 


MY  YOUNG  WIFE, 


Din.  Then  he  has  such  a  liberal  mind  ! 

Prog.  Without  a  penny  in  his  pocket ;  most  people  are  liberal* 
minded,  when  they  can’t  afford  to  be  otherwise,  my  dear. 

Din.  We  have  not  seen  him  these  eight  days. 

Prog.  So  much  the  better  ;  and,  as  I  have  promised  you  to  another, 
you  must  not  see  him  any  more,  at  any  rate  — 

Enter  George,  d.  in  f. 

Din.  Here  he  is. 

Prog.  The  devil ! 

George,  (c.)  Yes,  sir,  at  your  service.  Don’t  mind  me,  uncle  ;  1 ’m 
one  of  the  family. 

Prog,  (r.)  Yes,  and  you  want  to  increase  it. 

Geo.  My  sweet  cousin  ! 

Prog.  Mr.  George  Allen,  I  am  astonished  —  damme,  I ’m  electrified. 
Dinah,  go  to  Mrs.  Primmers,  and  see  if  the  pianoforte-tuner  is  come. 
Din.  (l.)  But,  papa— 

Prog.  Miss  Prog,  must  I  speak  twice? 

Din.  Good-morning,  George. 

Prog.  Will  you  go? 

Din.  La,  papa  !  ( ExUf  d.  in  f.) 

Prog  walks  up  to  George,  with  a  very  severe  look ,  and  is  about  to 
speak ,  when  George  checks  him . 

Geo.  I  have  just  heard  of  your  misfortune,  uncle  ;  and,  as  one  of 
the  family,  I  have  come  to  offer  you  my  services. 

Prog.  I  ’m  obliged  to  you  ;  but,  as  I  have  nothing  to  do,  I  shall  not 
trouble  you. 

Geo .  Trouble?  it  would  be  my  pleasure,  uncle.  In  adversity, 
friends  should  prove  what  they  before  professed. 

Prog.  Sir,  my  firm  cost  me  6000/.  Well,  I  could  afford  it ;  it 
was  insured  for  8000/.  Well,  they  can  afford  it  ;  and,  as  it  is  burnt 
to  ashes,  they  must  down  with  the  dust :  so  you  see  “  it  is  an  ill  wind 
that  blows  nobody  good.” 

Geo.  My  dear  uncle,  I  am  afraid  you  reckon  without  your  host  ; 
that  you  will  not  get  a  shilling  from  them. 

Prog .  What  ? 

Geo.  They  assert  that  your  farm  was  fired  through  wilful  neglect ; 
and  if  they  can  prove  it  your  policy  might  as  well  have  been  burnt 
with  your  property. 

Prog.  {Jumping  up.)  I’m  ruined  !  I’m  ruined!  all  my  savings 
gone  !  After  keeping  a  shilling  ordinary  for  thirty  years  I  shall  want 
dinner.  I ’m  dished  at  last. 

Geo.  Never  mind,  sir,  as  one  of  the  family  — 

Prog.  As  one  of  the  plagues  of  Egypt  ! 

Geo.  I  have  not  the  plague  spot  in  my  hand  when  I  offer  it  to  you, 
and  ask  you  to  share  my  earnings. 

Prog.  George,  but  for  this  accident  you  should  not  repent  this  kind¬ 
ness. 

Geo.  But  for  this  accident  I  could  not  have  proved  my  disinterested 

regard  for  you. 

Prog.  But  I  ’ll  not  stand  it.  I  ’ll  go  to  law.  I  ’ll  serve  them  with 

a  fieri  facias. 


AND  MY  OLD  UMBRELLA. 


5 


Geo.  Don’t  put  yourself  in  a  passion. 

Prog .  Why  not?  my  constitution  is  strong,  and  I  can  afford  it 
Damme,  it ’s  the  only  thing  I  can  afford  now  ! 

Geo .  Coolness  and  caution  must  be  our  weapons  ;  nothing  is  yet 
decided  ;  I  have  some  influence  with  the  directors  ;  they  are  always  open 
to  reason,  and  you  shall  not  be  wronged  out  of  your  rights,  if  I  can 
help  it. 

Prog .  O,  you  dear  boy !  your  kindness  is  engraven  here.  I  ’ll 
not  say  more  now,  only  recommend  you  to  keep  secret  that  my  farm  is 
insured  ;  something  may  happen.  I  am  rather  anxious  that  my  in¬ 
tended  son-in-law  should  not  know. 

Geo.  Your  intended  son-in-law  !  Mr.  Augustus,  whom  I  have  seen 
with  you  two  or  three  times? 

Prog .  The  same  ;  he ’s  a  musical  director  of  concerts  in  the  suburbs, 
as  harmonious  as  disinterested  ;  he  counts  on  having  4000/  with  Di¬ 
nah,  but,  thanks  to  the  fire,  I  dare  say  he  ’ll  be  content  with  half. 

Geo .  Not  a  word  shall  escape  my  lips.  This  Mr.  Tompkins  is  very 
rich,  then  ? 

Prog .  Not  yet,  but  with  the  money  I  shall  advance  him,  he  will  be. 
He  is  going  to  start  a  perambulating  concert-room  —  a  magnificent 
idea  —  engage  a  host  of  foreigners,  and  visit  all  the  principal  towns  in 
the  world. 

Geo .  And  you  would  give  your  daughter  to  a  man  like  this  —  a 
perambulating  musician  ? 

Prog.  What  can  I  do  better?  I  love  music  — love  it  passionately  ! 
Why  not  ?  I  can  afford  it. 

Grizzle .  (  Without ,  d.  in  f.)  0,  very  well,  first  door  on  the  right ; 
thank  you  —  much  obliged. 

Prog.  Some  one  comes.  ( To  Geo.)  My  dear  boy,  I  have  no  hope 
but  in  you. 

Geo .  Rely  upon  my  zeal.  I  ’ll  return  to  the  office,  meet  me  there 
in  an  hour,  and  bring  your  policy  of  insurance  with  you. 

(Exit  d.  in  i  ) 

Enter  Grizzle,  d.  in  f. 

Grizzle,  (l.)  Mr.  Prog? 

Prog,  (r.)  The  same. 

Griz.  You  Mr.  Prog? 

Prog.  I  am  the  gentleman. 

Griz.  Gentleman ! 

Prog.  Does  that  astonish  you  ? 

Griz.  You  kept  an  ordinary  ? 

Prog.  Yes,  sir. 

Griz.  At  a  shilling  a  head  ? 

Prog.  Yes,  sir. 

Griz.  I  ’ve  dined  with  you  often.  (Sighing.)  0  dear  ! 

Prog.  Why  do  you  sigh  ? 

Griz.  Sigh  !  it ’s  enough  to  make  any  man  sigh  ( Spitefully ),  to 
think  that  an  ordinary  man,  at  a  shilling  a  head,  beer  included  (that 
is,  small),  has  made  his  fortune  ;  while  I,  who  helped  you  into  this 
galloping  consumption  of  eatables,  am  poor  and  out  at  elbows  —  ’t  i» 
humiliating,  is  it  not? 

Prog.  Sir,  this  language  — 


6 


MY  YOUNG  WIFE, 


Qriz.  Why,  you— (Calming  his  rage) — Fm  wrong,  excuse  me— 
misfortune  ha9  soured  me — I  am  a  lost  individual ! 

Prog.  Oh  !  I  see.  .(Aside.)  A  shabby-genteel  beggar.  Fll  give  him 
sixpence  and  get  rid  of  him.  ( Takes  money  from  Ms  pocket.)  Here, 
friend,  I  am  not  rich,  and  this  is  all  I  can  afford.  (Offering  him 

money.)  . 

Qriz.  Sixpence  !  sixpence  ! — do  you  mean  to  insult  me  I 

Prog.  Who  and  what  the  devil  are  you  ? 

Qriz.  You  don’t  know  me— nothing  personal?  Then  all’s  forgot¬ 
ten _ forgiven.  I’m  Mr.  Gregory  Grizzle,  pianoforte-tunei . 

Prog.  Recommended  by  Mrs.  Smith  ? 

Qriz.  Even  so. 

Prog.  Why  didn’t  you  say  so  at  first  ? 

Griz.  I  forgot  it.  When  I  looked  at  you,  your  face  recalled  a  thou¬ 
sand  things  to  my  recollection  ;  above  all,  it  reminded  me  of  my  wife. 

Prog.  Is  she  like  me  ? 

Qriz.  Like  you !  nasty  brute !  I  see  you  wish  to  insult  me. 

Prog.  I  tell  you  I  don’t. 

Qriz.  Like  you!  Not  so  bad  as  that,  neither;  no,  sir,  no;  but 
we  used  to  dine  at  your  house  together. 

Prog.  Ah,  indeed  !  then  you— 

Qriz .  Exactly  so.  Poor  Emma!  Curses  on  the  villain  who  stole 
my  Emma  from  me !  for,  spite  of  myself,  I  regret  her  loss. 

Prog.  Have  you  lost  her,  then  ? 

Qriz .  No,  she  has  lost  herself;  but  don’t  let  us  speak  of  that 
(Crying)  Whenever  I  think  of  her  my  heart  is  ready  to  burst. 

Prog.  Indeed!  Poor  man  ;  how  I  pity  you. 

Griz.  Sir,  I  require  no  man’s  pity ;  no  one  shall  pity  me,  sir ;  to 


pity  me  is  to  insult  me. 

Prog.  Well,  I  won’t  pity  you;  so  go  and  tune  my  daughters 
piano.  To-night  we  will  sign  her  marriage-contract,  and  ’tis  a  good  occa¬ 
sion  for  showing  off  her  talent.  , . 

Qriz.  I  heard  of  this  marriage,  this  morning,  at  Mrs.  JenKins  ! 
You  know  Mrs.  J.— delightful  woman  to  chat  with— speaks  ill  of 
everybody. 

Prog.  Indeed! 

Griz.  She  says  that  your  daughter  does  not  love  Mr.  Tomkins,  and 
that  she  is  very  fond  of  her  cousin,  Mr.  George  Allen.  It’s  no  affair 
of  mine, — I  know  neither  one  nor  the  other, — but,  take  my  word  for 
it,  my  Emma’s  example  may  be  followed. 

Prog.  Well,  time  will  show ;  but  I  have  to  go  out  on  business ; 
and,  as  it  is  going  to  rain — 

Griz.  (Quickly)  Is  it  really  going  to  rain  ? 

Prog.  Yes,  and  I  must  make  haste  before  it  come3  down, 

Griz.  And  to  think  that  I  don’t  know  the  scoundrel  who  has  car¬ 
ried  off  what  I  prized  so  dearly. 

Prog.  Ah,  your  wife  ? 

Griz.  No,  my  umbrella. 

Prog.  Your  umbrella  ? 

Griz.  There  must  have  been  a  plot  against  me ;  a  man  whom  1 
have  never  seen ;  well,  sir,  he  has  deprived  me  of  her. 

Prog.  Her  ?  Was  it  a  feminine  umbrella  ? 

Qriz,  No,  my  ma. 


AND  MY  OLD  UMBRELLA. 


7 


Prog.  Yourma? 

Griz.  Yes,  her  name  is  Emma  ;  for  shortness,  I  call  her  ma,  my 
lawful  wedded  wife,  a  lovely  young  creature,  besides  a  family  umbrella 
that  had  walked  with  grandfather,  father,  and  son,  on  every  cloudy 
day  —  only  eighteen  years  old,  with  flaxen  ringlets,  a  mouth  like  a 
rose,  a  Grecian  nose  —  she  wished  to  make  a  parasol  of  it. 

Prog.  Of  her  nose  ? 

Griz.  No,  no,  of  my  umbrella,  an  heir-loom  ;  —  the  villain,  to  de¬ 
prive  me  of  them  both  ! 

Prog.  .’T  is  a  sad  business,  but  permit  me  to  observe  — 

Griz.  (Quickly.)  On  that  very  day  it  rained  in  torrents,  and  I 
had  returned  home  for  my  lamented  —  umbrella  ;  but,  imagine  irr' 
horror,  I  found  neither  umbrella  nor  wife. 

Prog.  My  good  friend,  that  is  not  the  point  in  question. 

Griz.  But  there  ’s  the  crime,  sir.  Wives  run  away  every  day  , 
that  ’s  nothing.  Very  likely  they  have  taken  away  yours  ;  but  the* 
dare  not  take  away  your  umbrella.  There  ’s  the  crime  —  your  wife  4 
not  your  goods  ;  but  your  umbrella  is.  If  a  man  run  away  with  your 
umbrella,  he ’s  transported  ;  but,  if  he  runs  away  with  your  wife,  he ’s 
delighted. 

Prog.  Well,  sir,  if  you  will  not  listen  to  me  — 

Griz.  I  ’ll  show  you  proof ;  a  note  (Feeling  in  his  pockets) ,  —  no 
I  have  n’t  got  it  about  me,  but  I  remember  all  the  expressions  :  “  Beau¬ 
tiful  Emma,  cease  to  be  sorrowful;  to-morrow,  at  two,  I  will  tear  you 
from  your  tyrant,  and  conduct  you  to  —  jrou  know  where  ’  ’  —  but  no 
name  —  no,  no  ;  the  scoundrel !  Well,  sir,  I  was  like  a  madman  ;  I 
rushed  into  the  street  without  my  hat,  went  to  all  my  friends  and 
neighbors,  and  gave  an  exact  description  of  her  —  covered  with  green 
silk,  an  ivory  hawk’s  head,  and  mother-of-pearl  eyes.  Now,  have  I 
not  cause  to  hate  the  whole  human  race  ?  You  have  done  me  no  harm, 
but  I  hate  you  ;  and,  when  it  rains,  I  hate  myself,  I  hate  the  world,  I 
hate  everything  ! 

Prog.  But,  my  good  sir,  what  have  I  to  do  with  your  wife  or  your 
umbrella? 

Griz.  Enough,  sir,  I  understand  you.  Where  is  your  umbrella? 

Prog.  My  what  ? 

Griz.  I  beg  pardon,  your  piano. 

Prog.  (Showing  him  to  room  r.)  In  that  room  —  put  it  in  proper 
order —  I  don’t  care  about  the  expense  —  I  can  afford  it. 

Griz  (Crosses  r.)  Ha,  ha,  insult  my  poverty,  do,  do  ! 

Prog.  (Aside.)  What  a  queer  fellow  !  (Rain.) 

Griz.  (Aside.)  An  old,  selfish,  poisoning,  shilling-ordinary  rascal, 
to  have  made  a  fortune  by  the  digestive  organs,  when,  with  tuning 
pianofortes,  I  am  as  poor  as  Job  !  but  I  was  born  to  misery,  so  it ’s  my 
fathers’s  fault,  not  mine.  (Goes  into  room  R.  h,  1  e.) 

Prog.  I  thought  I  should  never  get  rid  of  him.  Ah  !  there ’s  the 
rain  coming  down  in  torrents  ;  but  it  must  n’t  prevent  me  from  going 
to  the  insurance  office.  I  must  take  a  coach  ;  I  can  afford  it,  and  I  will. 

Enter  Augustus  Tomkins,  d.  in  f.,  closing  umbrella. 

Tomkins,  (l.)  Good-morning,  father-in-law. 

Prog,  (r.)  0  !  ’tis  you,  Augustus,  is  it?  What  a  storm  ! 


8 


MY  YOUNG  WIFE, 


Tom.  Yes,  horrid  ;  1 ’ve  just  stepped  over  with  a  bouquet  for  my 
intended.  ( Showing  it.)  I  would  n’t  wait  for  a  coach,  so  trusted  to 
my  umbrella.  Where  the  devil  shall  I  put  it  ?  It ’s  famously  soaked. 

Prog.  I  ’ll  put  it  in  my  study.  (  Goes  into  room ,  1  e.,  i.  H.) 

Tom.  Thank  you.  It ’s  very  strange  he  does  not  appear  more  seri¬ 
ous  ;  ’t  is  a  false  alarm,  no  doubt. 

Prog.  {Reentering  from  room  i.)  Well,  son-in-law,  how  goes  on 
the  music  ? 

Tom.  (r.)  Better  than  ever  ;  the  age  is  decidedly  musical,  and  we 
are  daily  becoming  more  melodious. 

Prog.  Glad  to  hear  it ;  hope  you  will  soon  make  your  fortune. 

Tom .  Be  assured  I  shall.  I  have  several  capital  plans.  You  cannot 
imagine  what  I  have  in  my  head  ;  I  have  millions  there.  By  the  by, 
I  have  come  to  ask  you  to  advance  me  a  few  hundreds. 

Prog.  Sorry,  my  dear  Tomkins,  very  sorry  ;  but  I  am  unfortunately 
in  a  very  distressing  position. 

Tom.  Indeed  !  then  it ’s  true  that  your  farm  is  burnt  down  ? 

Prog.  Too  true,  my  dear  friend- 

Tom.  The  devil !  ( Puts  the  bouquet  in  his  pocket. ) 

Prog.  Consequently,  you  must  feel  that  the  fortune  of  my  daughter 
must  suffer  by  it,  and,  since  you  have  millions  in  your  head,  it  can 
matter  very  little  to  you  whether  I  give  my  daughter  a  few  hundreds 
more  or  less. 

Tom.  {Aside.)  So,  so,  a  few  hundreds  ! 

Prog.  Have  you  any  objections  ? 

Tom.  None,  none,  I  assure  you. 

Prog.  Very  well,  then  we  will  sign  the  contract  to-night ;  I  must 
leave  you  now,  for  I  have  to  go  into  the  city  on  particular  business. 
Dinah  will  be  here  directly,  and  I  think  you  like  her  company  better 
than  mine.  ( Exit ,  ».  in  f.) 

Tom.  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  I  won’t  contradict  you.  The  devil !  I  am 
nicely  taken  in  ;  I  reckoned  on  receiving  at  least  4000Z.  with  the  girl ; 
I  dare  say  now  he  won’t  give  her  half,  perhaps  only  500Z.  cash  ;  the 
other  live  I  have  already  touched  ;  he  thinks  I  will  marry  his  daughter 
—  I  had  made  up  my  mind  to  it.  I  have  broken  off  my  affair  with 
Emma,  old  Grizzle  the  pianoforte-tuner’s  wife  ;  she  was  invulnerable, 
and,  I  hear,  is  gone  back  to  her  husband.  I  will  not  marry  old  Prog’s 
daughter  ;  —  but  stay,  if  I  refuse,  the  old  fellow  will  be  furious,  and 
arrest  me  for  the  money  I  owe  him,  and  I  have  not  a  shilling  in  the 
world.  I  must  arrange  that  the  refusal  shall  come  from  him.  Ah  ! 
an  idea  —  a  double  bass  idea  —  my  father-in-law  does  n’t  know  my 
handwriting,  and  an  anonymous  letter  will  do  the  business.  ( Sits 
down.)  I  ’ll  say  I ’m  a  drunkard,  a  gambler,  and  a  libertine,  without 
honor  or  honesty,  morals  or  conduct ;  a  liar,  a  scoundrel,  and  every¬ 
thing  else  that  is  respectable  in  that  way.  {  Writing  at  table  r.) 
“  I  heard,  sir,  that  you  are  on  the  point  of  uniting  your  daughter  ” — 
um  —  um  —  um  — 

Grizzle  enters  from  room  r.  h.,  1  e.  {Rain.) 

Grizzle.  {Crosses  l.)  My  usual  luck  !  I ’ve  broken  two  strings.  I 
must  go  and  buy  some. 

Tom.  The  devil !  I  *m  not  alone. 


AND  MY  OLD  UMBRELLA. 


B 


Griz.  There  is  a  shop  close  at  hand.  (Perceiving  Tomk  ;-s.)  iih  i 
who ’s  that  ? 

Tom .  I  have  never  seen  this  person  before  ;  ’t  is  a  new  servant,  no 
doubt.  (  Writes  again.) 

Griz .  Can  this  be  the  intended  of  the  young  lady,  or  only  the  cousin  ? 

Tom .  There,  it  is  done.  (Folding  letter.) 

Griz .  (  Going  to  window ,  in  flat ,  r.)  Let  me  see  if  it  rains,  still. 

Tom.  Now  for  the  address. 

Griz.  Pouring  !  —  never  mind  ;  I  ’ll  run  through  it,  ’t  is  not  far. 
(Going.) 

Tom.  I  say,  my  friend  ! 

Griz.  His  friend  ! 

Tom.  Do  you  know  if  there  is  a  twopenny  post-office  in  this  neigh¬ 
borhood  ? 

Griz.  There  is  one  opposite  the  music-shop.  (Sulkily.) 

Tom.  Is  it  far  ? 

Griz.  About  one  hundred  and  fifty  yards. 

Tom.  Far  enough  to  get  wet ;  and  this  letter  should  be  put  into  the 
office  directly. 

Griz.  Give  me  your  letter,  and  I  will  throw  it  into  the  box  as  I 
pass.  (Takes  it.) 

Tom.  Thank  you,  my  good  man.  By  the  by,  I  can  lend  you  an 
umbrella. 

Griz .  An  umbrella  !  Do  you  mean  to  insult  me  ? 

Tom.  Hey  ! 

Griz.  (At  the  door.)  I  had  one  once,  a  family  relic  —  no  matter, 
no  matter. 

Tom.  I  assure  you,  my  dear  fellow  —  (Rain.) 

Griz.  (Going  up  to  him.)  Your  dear  fellow!  That’s  what  my 
wife  used  to  say,  and  when  it  rained,  as  it  does  now,  would  keep  me 
dry  as  hay  —  no  matter  ;  your  umbrella !  ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  your  um¬ 
brella  !  ( Exit ,  d.  in  f.) 

Tom.  A  monstrous  queer  fellow  !  What  the  devil  did  he  mean  ? 
Never  mind,  he  has  done  me  a  service  ;  thanks  to  him,  I  can  have  an 
interview  with  my  intended  before  I  leave  the  house,  and  adroitly  pre¬ 
pare  her  for  the  rupture  I  meditate.  Ah  !  here  she  is  ! 

Enter  Dinah,  d.  in  f. 

Dinah,  (l.)  Did  you  wish  to  see  me  ? 

Tom.  (r.)  I  am  always  wishing  to  see  you,  charming  Dinah  ;  but 
I  fear  the  wish  is  not  reciprocal  on  your  part. 

Din.  Have  I  said  anything  to  make  you  think  that  your  presence 
was  disagreeable  to  me  ? 

Tom.  No  ;  but  yet,  in  spite  of  yourself,  I  have  perceived  —  per¬ 
haps  another  more  fortunate  than  myself — 

Din.  Another  !  What  would  you  say,  sir? 

Enter  George,  d.  in  f. 

Tom.  Your  cousin,  doubtless,  can  answer  for  me. 

Din  George !  5 

Tom.  Come  in,  Mr.  Allen  ;  come  in,  sir. 

George.  How  I  detest  the  fellow  !  (Aside.) 

Tom.  I  am  sorry  ;  one  too  many,  I  perceive.  ! 


10 


MY  YOUNG  WIFE, 


Geo.  What  do  you  say,  sir  ? 

Tom  Nothing  ;  but  there  are  secrets  that  have  not  escaped  my 
penetration.  No,  my  friends,  you  do  not  know  me.  Augustus  Tom¬ 
kins,  the  natural  protector  of  love  and  harmony,  disunite  two  hearts 
beating  in  unison  ?  Never  !  No  —  I  ’ll  sacrifice  myself  for  you.  Your 
happiness  shall  be  mine.  No  thanks  —  adieu  !  What  I  feel  here  will 

reward  me  sufficiently.  Adieu— be  happy  ’.  be  happy  !  . 

( Runs  off ,  d.  in  r. ) 

Geo.  What  does  this  mean  ?  Explain. 

Din.  Why,  he,  no  doubt,  knows  you  have  paid  your  addresses  to 

m*Geo.  He  knows  that  I  love  you,  and  you  think  that  he  is  generous 
enough  to  resign  you?  Hope  returns  to  me.  f 

Din.  You  conclude  too  fast ;  there  is  still  my  father  s  consent 

"t^Never  fear  ;  I  have  some  good  news  for  him  —  news  that  will 
make  him  happy. 

Din.  Indeed  !  then  I  begin  to  have  hopes  myselt. 

Geo.  You  love  me,  then?  0,  celestial  cousin  ! 

(Kisses  her  hand.) 


Grizzle  appears  at  door  in  f. 


Geo.  The  devil!  (Runs  off,  door  L.H..U 

Tin.  A  stranger  !  .  '(-Run*  off,  door  R.  h.,  H) 

Griz.  So,  so.  I’ve  spoilt  their  billing  and  cooing;  t was  Miss 

p r0g _ lets  a  young  man  kiss  her  hand  before  she  is  married  -  Hum 

—  hum  —  they  ’re  all  alike.  This  it  is  to  teach  girls  to  play  Love 
among  the  roses,”  on  the  piano  ;  but,  apropos,  the  young  man  who 
confided  this  letter  to  me  must  be  mad.  As  I  was  putting  it  into  the 
post,  I  looked  at  the  address  ;  and,  to  my  astonishment,  I  read,  lo 
Peter  Prog,  Esq.  the  Peter  Prog,  who  lives  here,  no  doubt ;  and 
so  I  thought  I  would  save  the  old  fellow  twopence  by  delivering  it 
myself.  I  hate  the  human  race,  but,  such  is  my  character,  I  Will 
always  save  a  man  twopence,  if  I  can,  when  it  costs  me  nothmg. 


Enter  Pjro a,  d.  in  v. 


Prop,  (l.)  I  could  n’t  find  my  nephew  at  the  office. 

Griz.  (r.)  Talk  of  the  devil  —  Mr.  Prog. 

Proa.  Ah,  Mr.  Grizzle  !  is  the  piano  in  order? 

Griz.  Not  yet  —  an  accident ;  these  sort  of  things  are  always  hap¬ 
pening  to  me  particularly  ;  but  that ’s  nothing  —  there  is  a  letter  for 
you. 

Prop.  A  letter  !  from  my  nephew  7 

Griz.  Very  likely,  he  looked  like  one  of  the  family. 

Prop .  Yes,  he ’s  a  fine  fellow  !  (  Opening  letter.) 

Griz.  I  merely  meant  in  manners.  ,  , 

Prog.  (Trying  to  read.)  The  -  he  -  hear  -  hum -what  a 

scrawl !  ’tis  impossible  to  .decipher  a  syllable  ;  only  look  at  it.  (  Giv¬ 
ing  letter  to  Grizzle.)  _  ..  .  -  0  . 

Griz.  Really,  it  seems  to  have  been  written  by  a  fly  that  has  acc  - 
dentally  dropped  into  the  ink. 


AND  MY  OLD  UMBRELLA. 


11 


Prog.  What  ’s  the  signature  ? 

Griz.  It  has  none. 

Prog .  ’T  is  very  singular. 

Griz .  I  think  I  can  make  it  out.  {Beading.)  “I  hear,  sir,  that 
you  are  on  the  point  of  uniting,’ *  —  Surely  I  know  this  hand. 

Prog.  Why  do  you  stop? 

Griz.  Be  quiet,  be  quiet  —  “on  the  point  of  u-uniting  your 
daughter  to  Mr.  Augustus  Tomkins.  I  think  it  necessary  to  warm 
you  ”  —  eh  !  warm  you? 

Prog.  To  warn  you. 

Griz.  It  looks  exactly  like  warm  —  “  to  warn  you  that  he  is  a  lib¬ 
ertine,  a  bad-conducted  fellow,  and  a  gambler.” 

Prog.  What  an  atrocious  calumny  ! 

Griz.  Mr.  Anonymous  may  be  a  rival. 

Prog.  Ah,  true,  my  nephew  !  The  rascal  has  disguised  his  hand. 

Griz.  I  should  think  so,  or  else  he  was  educated  before  charity- 
schools  were  in  vogue. 

Prog.  Go  on. 

Griz.  “  At  this  very  moment  he  is  living  with  a  young  woman 
whom  he  has  carried  off  from  her  husband.”  {Laughing.)  Ha  !  ha  ! 
capital  !  capital ! 

Prog .  It  makes  you  laugh,  then. 

Griz.  Yes,  yes  ;  I  have  a  sort  of  ferocious  joy  on  such  occasions. 
Another  husband  deceived,  ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  —  so  much  the  better  ;  the 
more  the  merrier.  {Laughing.)  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  ! 

Prog.  Go  on,  go  on. 

Griz.  “You  will  not  doubt  what  I  advance,  when  you  know  the 
lady’s  name.”  Ah  !  ha  !  now  we  shall  know  who  she  is. 

Prog.  It  seems  to  delight  you. 

Griz.  To  be  sure,  to  be  sure ;  you  never  had  a  wife  taken  from 
you,  or  you ’d  be  as  pleased  as  I  am  —  “  This  young  woman  is  called 
Emma  ”  —  0  Lord  !  I ’m  very  ill.  {Sinks  into  a  chair.) 

Prog.  Emma!  {Taking  letter.) 

Griz.  I  must  have  made  a  mistake. 

Prog.  No ;  “  Emma,  and  her  husband  is  Mr.  Gregory  Grizale, 
pianoforte-tuner.”  Why,  that ’s  you  ! 

Griz.  Yes,  yes  ;  I  am  the  unhappy  wretch  !  0,  villanous  Tom¬ 
kins  !  I  shall  know  you  at  last.  You,  then,  have  carried  off  my 
umbrella. 

Prog.  Still,  I  ’ll  not  believe  that  Tomkins  — 

Griz.  But  I  ’ll  believe  it.  Where  is  he  ?  Where  does  he  live  ? 
Name  his  place  of  abode,  that  I  may  annihilate  him,  crush  him  to 
bits  ? 

Prog.  Don’t  put  yourself  in  a  passion. 

Griz.  Why  not?  I  ought  to  be  in  a  passion,  and  I  will  be  so.  Has 
he  not  left  me  for  the  last  fortnight  exposed  to  all  the  inclemencies  of 
society  and  the  weather? 

Prog .  Still  you  must  not  condemn  him  unheard. 

Griz.  But  I  will  condemn  him  unheard. 

Prog.  I’ll  go  to  him,  and  if  he  doesn’t  justify  himself,  I  will  find 
another  son-in-law  —  I  can  afford  it. 

Griz.  Perhaps  you  can,  but  I  can’t  afford  it.  But  where  shall  I 
find  another  family  umbrella  ? 

15  OF  ILL  LrB 


12 


MY  YOUNG  WIFE, 


Prog .  Will  you  wait  for  me  here  till  the  affair  is  explained  ? 

Griz.  Well,  well,  I  will  ;  but  make  haste,  for  I  ’m  in  such  a  state  ot 
nervous  excitement  I  shall  do  something  desperate.  (  Takes  up  a  chaii 
and  flourishes  it  over  his  head. ) 

Prog .  Be  calm,  be  calm  !  I  ’ll  return  immediately.  (  Exit  d.  in  f.) 

Griz.  Now,  Tomkins !  damnable  Tomkins  !  you  cannot  escape 
me.  Hide  yourself  where  you  will,  I  ’ll  find  you  —  stay  ;  on  enter¬ 
ing  this  room,  a  little  while  ago,  the  individual  who  was  kissing  Miss 
Prog’s  hand,  —  if  it  should  be  Tomkins  !  —  he  is  there  in  that  room. 
( Pointing  to  door ,  l.)  0  heavens  !  thoughts  of  murder  and  blood 

flash  across  my  mind.  (George  appearing  at  door  l.,  with  the 
umbrella.) 

George .  Mr.  Prog  does  not  come,  so  I  ’ll  return  to  the  counting- 
house,  notwithstanding  the  rain. 

Griz .  There  he  is. 

Geo.  I  have  taken  the  liberty  of  borrowing  this  umbrella,  which  I 
found  in  the  room. 

Griz.  (r.)  Umbrella  !  my  umbrella,  by  all  that’s  horrible  !  ’T  is 
he,  no  doubt  —  Tomkins,  the  destroyer  of  my  peace. 

Geo.  (  Going.)  I  ’ll  bring  it  back  at  night. 

Griz .  You  shall  not  stir.  ( Standing  before  the  door  in  F.) 

Geo.  What  would  you  with  me,  friend? 

Griz.  I  have  found  you  at  last,  wretch  !  Look  at  me  !  Let  me 
examine  you  face  to  face  !  He ’s  not  even  good-looking. 

Geo.  Sir,  I  am  as  fond  of  a  joke  as  any  man,  from  those  I  know  ; 
but  from  you,  a  total  stranger — 

Griz.  A  stranger  !  You  don’t  know  me  !  but  you  shall,  you  shall 
( Mysteriously .)  Grizzle? 

Geo.  No. 

Griz .  Pianoforte-tuner  ? 

Geo.  No. 

Griz.  Air-street? 

Geo.  No. 

Griz.  Husband  of  Emma  ? 

Geo.  No. 

Griz.  No  !  you  don’t  know  me  ?  But  you  have  got  my  umbrella, 
infamous  robber  1  Do  you  know  me  now  ?  Do  you  deny  my  um¬ 
brella? 

Geo.  Does  it  belong  to  you,  then  ? 

Griz.  You  know  it  does. 

Geo.  For  what  do  you  take  me,  then  ? 

Griz.  For  a  reptile,  a  knave  of  hearts,  a  thief ! 

Geo.  This  is  beyond  bearing,  and  if  you  persist —  ( Raising 

umbrella.) 

Griz.  Strike  —  do  —  assassinate  me  —  put  the  finishing  blow  to 
your  crimes,  and  bring  yourself  to  the  gallows  !  Ah  !  you  dare  not 
do  it  ;  you  fear  the  scaffold,  coward  that  you  are  !  (In  a  sepulchral 
voice.)  The  scaffold  !  the  scaffold  ! 

Geo.  Stand  out  of  the  way  then. 

Griz.  You  stir  not  hence  —  give  me  back  my  wife!  Where  is 
she  ?  Where  is  she  —  where  is  Emma  ? 

Geo.  Once  more,  will  you  leave  me  alone  ? 

Griz.  Give  me  back  my  wife. 


AND  MY  OLD  UMBRHLLA. 


13 


Geo.  Go  to  the  devil ! 

Gnz.  Then  let  me  go  to  my  wife."  You  won’t?  —  then  keep  her; 
’twill  be  a  sufficient  punishment  ;  but,  at  least,  give  me  back  my 
umbrella  ;  my  wife  is  culpable,  but  my  umbrella  —  give  me  back  my 
umbrella. 

Geo.  Are  you  mad  ? 

Griz.  Yes — my  umbrella,  my  umbrella  !  {Seizing  it.) 

Geo.  You  shall  not  have  it.  {Holding  it.) 

Griz .  Leave  go,  sir,  leave  go  !  ( Pulling. ) 

Geo.  I  won’t !  I  won’t !  {Pulling.) 

Griz.  0,  you  thief !  you  unfeeling  robber  !  {Pulling.) 

Enter  Dinah  d.  r.  h.,  1  e. 

Dinah.  What  is  the  meaning  of  this  noise  ? 

Griz.  Come  here,  Miss  {Pulling),  and  let  your  presence  con¬ 
found  him. 

George.  Don’t  listen  to  him,  Dinah  ;  he  is  mad. 

Griz.  Hold  your  tongue,  you  cannibal  !  hold  your  tongue  !  I  des¬ 
pise  you  !  Yes,  miss  ;  this  man,  who  is  making  love  to  you,  is  a  vil¬ 
lain  —  you  know  you  are  !  Taking  advantage  of  the  rain  one  day,  he 
walked  off  with  my  wife,  —  a  vile  seducer  !  —  and  has  lived,  for  the 
last  fortnight,  with  my  umbrella. 

Din.  Good  gracious  ! 

Griz.  Never  marry  him,  never  !  In  the  first  place,  I  know  you 
would  n’t  like  him  —  I  know  you  would  n’t  ;  besides,  I  can  give  you 
other  reasons  —  I  can,  you  highway  robber,  you  know  I  can  !  —  Mr. 
Prog  knows  all  about  it. 

Geo. '  Mr.  Prog  ? 

Griz.  {Letting  go  the  umbrella.)  Never  mind,  you  cannot  escape 
me.  I  go  to  seek  for  a  letter  —  your  rascally  letter  ;  after  that,  l  will 
never  leave  you  —  never  ! 

Geo .  Leave  the  room,  sir  ! 

Enter  Tomkins,  d.  in  r. 

Tomkins.  What ’s  the  matter  ? 

Griz.  (  To  Tomkins.)  0,  my  dear  friend,  thanks  to  you,  I  shall  be 
revenged  !  {To  George.)  0,  you  villain  ! 

Geo.  Leave  the  room,  sir,  or  by  Heaven  — 

Griz.  The  scaffold  —  the  scaffold  —  Newgate  —  Monday  morning, 
eight  o’clock  —  my  wife —  my  umbrella  !  {Exit,  D.  in  E.) 

Tom.  (c.)  What  does  he  mean  ? 

Geo.  (l.)  Really,  I  don’t  know  ;  he  has  been  abusing  me  in  an 
outrageous  manner,  but  for  what  I  cannot  imagine. 

Din.  (r.)  What  he  said  was  very  clear  ;  —  your  conduct  is  shame¬ 
ful. 

Geo.  Why,  cousin,  he ’s  mad  ! 

Din.  No  such  thing,  sir  ;  I  have  seen  him  at  Mrs.  Primrose’s  often, 
and  I  believe  everything  he  has  said  about  you. 

Geo.  Indeed  !  {Crosses  to  her.)  He  told  me  just  now  that  he  knew 
you  could  not  bear  me. 

Tom.  (l.)  What’s  all  this?  A  quarrel  between  two  lovers  who 
adore  each  other. 


2 


14 


MY  YOUNG  WIFE, 


Din,  I  can  never  love  a  man  of  intrigue. 

Geo.  Nor  I  a  coquette.  (  Crosses  to  l.) 

Tom.  (c.)  Come,  come,  be  friends  ;  follow  my  advice.  I  have  a 
right  to  give  it,  since  I  have  sacrificed  my  own  love. 

Din.  You  were  wrong,  Mr.  Tomkins,  for  ’tis  you  alone  whom  I 
esteem,  and  I  am  ready  to  marry  you. 

Geo.  Perfidious  woman  ! 

Tom.  The  devil !  this  will  never  do.  {Aside.) 

Din.  When  my  father  returns  I  will  tell  him  so. 

Tom.  I  beg  pardon,  I  merely  called  for  my  umbrella.  0,  you  have 
it  in  your  hand  ! 

Geo.  Is  this  umbrella  yours,  then? 

Tom.  Certainly. 

Geo.  Indeed  !  it  was  claimed  by  another  person  just  now. 

Tom.  Mr.  Prog  will  certify  to  you  that  it  is  mine. 

Geo.  {Giving  it.)  That’s  sufficient  —  I  know  you  —  there  it  is. 
{Aside.)  I ’m  out  of  that  scrape. 

Tom.  Adieu,  my  friends  —  make  it  up  —  too  happy  that  your  hap¬ 
piness  is  my  work.  {Going  to  exit  through  door  in  f.,  stopped  by  Mr. 
Prog,  who  enters  d.  f.  ) 

Prog.  Ah  !  Tomkins,  I  have  just  been  to  your  house. 

Tom.  Indeed  ! 

Prog .  (l.  c.)  I  have  learnt  some  fine  things  about  you,  sir. 

Tom.  (r.  c.)  {Aside.)  Good  !  he  has  received  my  letter. 

Prog.  1  hope  you  will  be  able  to  clear  yourself ;  otherwise  I  —  Ah, 
nephew  !  Well  ? 

Geo.  (l.)  Some  excellent  news,  —  the  insurance  will  be  paid  to  the 
utmost  farthing. 

Tom.  {Aside.)  What  do  I  hear?  Your  farm,  then,  was  insured ? 

Prog.  For  a  third  more  than  its  value. 

Tom.  I ’ve  made  a  nice  thing  of  this.  Father-in-law,  I  rejoice  at 
your  good  fortune,  and  hope  you  will,  at  once,  fix  the  day  for  my  union 
with  your  charming  daughter. 

Prog.  To  the  point.  {Taking  out  letter.)  I  have  been  written  to, 
sir  ;  I  have  in  my  hand  a  letter  relative  to  you  — 

Tom.  A  letter  ! 

Prog.  Which  speaks  of  all  sorts  of  dreadful  things.  Yes,  sir,  it 
states  that  you  have  enticed  a  certain  Emma,  the  wife  of  a  Mr.  Grizzle, 
pianoforte-tuner,  from  her  home. 

Din .  ’T  is  he  then. 

Geo.  You  see  how  everything  comes  out. 

Tom.  I  have  enemies,  Mr.  Prog,  and,  above  all,  a  rival  ;  there  he 
is,  and ’t  is  he  alone  can  have  written  that  infamous  letter. 

Geo.  ( Taking  letter  from  Prog.)  Look,  uncle,  is  this  my  writing  ? 

Tom.  Pshaw  !  You  have,  of  course,  disguised  your  hand,  and  he 
has  put  the  Grizzle  affair  to  my  account,  when  he  is  the  guilty  jarty. 

Din.  Just  now  Mr.  Grizzle  had  a  dreadful  scene  with  him. 

Tom.  You  hear. 

Geo.  I  shall  choke  with  rage. 

Din.  Cousin,  your  conduct  is  abominable  ! 

Geo.  Mr.  Tomkins,  we  must  fight,  sir  ! 

Tom.  Pooh,  nonsense  ! 

Prog.  Go,  sir,  leave  the  house  —  I ’ve  done  with  you,  sir,  forever. 

Geo.  My  uncle,  you  arc  deceived. 


AND  MY  OLD  UMBRELLA. 


16 

Enter  Grizzle,  door  in  f. 

Grizzle.  (Pointing  out  George.)  Ah  !  there  he  is  !  My  dear  friend, 
let  me  embrace  you.  (Embraces  him.) 

Prog.  Here’s  another. 

Geo.  (l.)  You  suffocate  me. 

Griz.  (l.  c)  Don’t  try  to  shun  my  gratitude;  you  are  the  most 
generous  of  men;  yes,  you  see  before  you- the  most  generous  of  men. 

Prog,  (c.)  My  friend,  have  the  kindness  to  speak  intelligibly,  for 
upon  my  word,  at  present — 

Griz.  Mr.  Prog,  this  morning  you  saw  me  melancholy,  misanthrop¬ 
ical  ;  the  chain  of  my  existence  was  unhinged ;  I  was  like  a  piano  with 
the  strings  broken,  all  jar  and  discord ;  but  now  I’m  in  tune  again ; 
for,  on  entering  my  house  just  now,  I  found — 

Prog.  Your  umbrella  ? 

Griz.  No ;  my  wife,  my  Emma  ! 

Tom.  (l.  c.)  (Aside.)  Emma ! 

Griz.  The  dear  Emma  threw  herself  into  my  arms, — a  thing  she 
never  did  before  ;  and  to  whom  do  I  owe  this  happiness  ?  To  him  whom 
I  accused,  to  this  excellent  and  good  friend,  Tomkins.  (To  George.) 

Geo.  You  are  still  in  the  umbrella  error. 

Griz.  Hold  your  tongue,  you  perfection  of  Mr,  Tomkins’ !  let  me 
publish  your  virtues.  Mr.  Prog,  my  wife  is  very  jealous  ;  my  profession 
of  pianoforte-tuner  brings  me  in  contact  with  numberless  young  ladies. 
Emma  did  not  like  it;  she  was  tenacious  of  her  Grizzle  ;  so  much  so 
that  she  had  almost  determined  to  throw  herself  into  the  river. 

Prog.  Well,  well. 

Griz.  I  should,  however,  tell  you  she  had  taken  with  her  my 
umbrella.  This  gentleman  (To  George),  passing  at  the  time,  saw,  ou 
Waterloo  Bridge,  my  young  wife  leaning  on  the  umbrella — no,  no 
on  the  parapet !  He  ran  and  found  her  drowned — 

Prog.  Drowned  ? 

Griz.  In  tears.  He  consoled  her,  and  walked  with  her  home,  carry¬ 
ing  in  his  hand  my  grandfather’s  umbrella,  which  in  his  hurry  he  for¬ 
got  to  return.  (Shaking  George’s  hand.)  Good  creature  !  Emma  beg¬ 
ged  him  to  escort  her  to  her  aunt’s,  who  lives  at  Putney,  and  Jtia 
that  which  gave  rise  to  that  letter  which  caused  all  my  suspicions. 

Prog.  Yes,  yes,  “charming  Emma !” 

Griz.  “  Dry  your  sorrows.” 

Prog.  “  To-morrow  about — ” 

Griz.  “Two  o’clock,”  &c.  &c.,  you  know  it  was  as  well  as  I  do. 
( Giving  letter  to  George.)  There  it  is;  I  return  it  to  you,  generouf 
man.  You  have  triumphed  over  my  blue  devils,  and  I  feel  again  in  m, 
heart  love  for  my  fellow-creatures.  I  wish  every  one  to  live  a  thou¬ 
sand  years,  with  twenty  thousand  a  year,  and  a  dozen  or  two  of  chil¬ 
dren.  The  universe  has  changed  its  aspect,  human  nature  appears 
beautiful  to  me,  and  the  ugliest  person  seems  handsome  ; — even  you, 
Prog,  look  handsome.  By  the  bye,  generous  man,  will  you  allow*  me 
to  ask  you  what  you  have  done  with  my  umbrella  ? 

Geo.  Ask  that  gentleman  there, — he  says  it  belongs  to  him. 

Griz.  To  him  ? — has  he  the  effronteiy — 

Tom.  No,  Mr.  Grizzle,  ’tis  yours,  and  I  beg  leave  to  return  it. 

Griz.  (Taking  it  hastily.)  Very  well,  sir-- being  without  deli 


16 


MY  YOUNG  WIFE* 


cacy!  I  say  it  before  Mr.  Prog,  though  he  is  you?  nephew,  he  is  ft 
being  without  delicacy. 

Prog .  My  nephew  !  really,  sir,  t — 

Griz.  Don’t  defend  him ;  ’t  was  he  who  wrote  tf<s  anonymous  let- 
ter  against  my  friend  Tomkins  ! 

Prog.  Against  Tomkins  ! 

Griz.  I  saw  him  myself  concocting  the  devilry 

T om.  {Aside.)  He  will  betray  me, 

Geo.  {Who  has  examined  the  note.)  Why,  really  this  letter  is  in  the 
same  handwriting  as  the  other, — look  at  it.  {Giving  letter  to  Prog.) 

Prog*  Can  I  believe  my  spectacles  1 

Tom.  {Aside.)  All  is  up.  , 

Prog.  0  Tomkins,  Pm  ashamed  of  you  ! 

Griz.  You  mean  George. 

Prog.  Mo,  no,  Tomkins.  {Pointing  to  Tomkins,  r.) 

Griz.  No,  no,  that’s  George,  and  this  is  Tomkins.  {Pointing  to 
George,  l.) 

Prog.  No,  no  ;  that’s  Tomkins,  and  this  is  George. 

Griz.  Is  it  possible!  {Crosses  to  Tomkins,  and  embracing  him.) 
My  dear  sir,  I  beg  your  pardon,  you  are  my  friend. 

Prog.  Really,  I  don’t  understand  this. 

Geo.  But  I  do,  and  will  explain. 

Tom.  {Aloud.)  No  further  explanation  is  necessary,  sir.  You  love 
Miss  Dinah,  she  love3  you, — take  her,  and  be  happy. 

Prog.  What?  what?  what? 

Tom.  I  resign  her.  Good-morning.  {Going.) 

Prog.  Stay,  stay ;  you  owe  me  500f. 

Griz.  Never  mind.  I  ’ll  pay  you. 

Prog.  You  !  how  ? 

Griz.  With  my  umbrella. 

Prog.  Pshaw  !  it’s  not  worth  sixpence. 

Griz.  I  beg  your  pardon,  its  value  is  immense ;  it  is  an  object  of 
public  curiosity.  I  could  make  a  fortune  by  showing  it  at  a  penny  a 
head.  Look,  is  n’t  there  something  very  patriarchal  about  it  ?  Observe 
this  patch  and  handle ;  is  there  such  another  umbrella  in  the  world  ? 
No !  in  itself  it  is  valuable  for  its  singularity  ;  but  when  such  an 
affecting  story  is  connected  with  it,  when  it  has  been  the  cause  of  such 
unparalleled  domestic  distress,  it  becomes  invaluable.  Who  would  not 
like  to  possess  such  a  treasure  ?  No  individual  can  purchase  it !  But, 
to  accommodate  the  public  and  the  world  in  general,  I’ve  hit  upon  an 
expedient — I’ll  raffle  it ;  and,  to  render  the  excitement  greater,  my  wife, 
the  affectionate  and  beautiful  Mrs.  Grizzle,  shall  superintend  the 
arrangements.  Now  don’t  you  see  your  paltry  500J.  ?  Come,  generous 
friends  {To  Tomkins,)  come  under  this  faithful  shelter,  and  form,  with 
me,  an  interesting  tableau!  {Puts  up  his  umbrella.)  There,  I’ve  put 
up  mv  umbrella — (Tomkins  goes  to  Grizzle.) — long  may  it  rain  over 
us,  and  bear  the  heaviest  shower  of  applause  your  approbation  may 
pour  down  upon  my 

“Young  Wife,  and  my  Old  Umbrella.” 


SITUATIONS. 

Pitoo.  Tomkins.  Dinah. 


George. 


(Catalogue  continued  from  second  page  of  cover.) 


VOL.  XLII. 

329  Ticket  of  Leave  Man 

330  Fool’s  Revenge 

331  O’Neil  the  Great 

332  Handy  Andy 

333  Pirate  of  the  Isles 

334  Fan  chon 

335  Little  Barefoot 

336  Wild  Irish  Girl 


OL.  XLI. 
Pirate's  Legacy 
Charcoal  Burner 
jlgitba 
'  or  V  aliente 
est  Rose 
it s  Daughter 
lilla’ s  Husband 
e  Gold 


Cts. 

(great  secret  of  shadow 

MTOMIMES  ;  or,  Harlequin  in  the  Shades, 
vto  get  them  up  and  how  to  act  them.  With 
(ad  concise  instructions,  and  numerous  Illus* 

By  Tony  Denier.  Price . 2u 

LOU  TABLEAUX  ;  or,  Animated  Pic- 
for  the  use  of  Families,  Schools,  and  Public 
ijtions.  By  Tony  Denier.  Price . 25 

TEUR’S  GUIDE  TO  HOME  THE- 
IICALS.  Howto  get  them  up,  and  how  to 
\  them;  to  which  is  added,  “  How  to  get  up 
Iricals  in  a  Country  House,”  with  By-Laws, 
led  Scenes,  Plays,  and  everything  useful  for 

formation  of  amateur  societies.  Price . 25 

GUIDE  TO  THE  STAGE,  by  Leman 
KsRede.  Containing  clear  and  full  direc¬ 
tor  obtaining  Theatrical  Engagements,  with 
jste  and  valuable  instructions  for  beginners, 
i  e  to  salaries,  rules,  manner  of  going  through 
\rsals,  securing  proper  Dresses,  conduct  at  a 

5pearance,  &c.,  &c.  Price . 15 

ART  OF  ACTING;  or,  Guide  to  the 
In  which  the  Dramatic  Passions  are  de- 
knalyzed,  and  made  easy  of  acquirement; 

Ue  requisites  necessary  for  performers  of  both 
/  heroes,  gentlemen,  lovers,  tradesmen, 

's,  heroines,  fine  ladies,  hoy  dens,  characters 
Idle  and  old  age,  etc.  Price  , . . J  5 


VOL.  XLIII. 

337  Pearl  of  Savoy 

338  Dead  Heart 

339  Ten  Nights  in  a  Bar-room 

340  Dumb  Boy  of  Manchester 
841  Belphegor  the  Mountebank 

342  Cricket  on  the  Hearth 

343  Printer’s  Devil 
644  Meg' s  Diversion 


VOL.  XLIV. 

345  Drunkard’s  Doom 

346  Chimney  Corner 

347  Fifteen  Years  of  a  Drunk- 

348  No  Thoroughfare  fard’s 

349  Peep  O’  Day  I  Life 

8e0  Everybody’s  Friend 
Hamlet,  in  Three  Acts 
Guttle  &  Gulpit 

Cu. 

MASSEY’S  EXHIBITION  RECITER 
AND  DRAWING-ROOM  ENTER¬ 
TAINMENTS.  Being  choice  Recitations  in 
prose  and  verse.  Together  with  an  unique  collec¬ 
tion  of  Petite  Comedies,  Dramas  and  Farces, 
adapted  for  the  use  of  Schools  and  Families.  Two 

numbers . . per  number,  30 

The  two  numbers,  bound  in  cloth,  School  style. ...  7  5 
THE  OLIO;  or  Speaker’s  Companion.  A  col¬ 
lection  of  Recitations  in  Prose  and  Verse,  Dia¬ 
logues  and  Burlesques,  compiled  for  the  use  of 
Schools,  Thespian  Societies,  etc.,  and  for  Public 
Declamation  or  Reading.  In  three  parts. . .  each,  15 
DRAMAS  FOR  THE  DRAWING¬ 
ROOM.  .By  Miss  Keating.  Two  parts,  each,  40 
PLAYS  FOR  THE  PARLOR.  By  Miss 

Keating.  Two  parts . each,  40 

ACTING  CHARADES.  By  Miss  Picker¬ 
ing . 40 

COMIC  DRAMAS,  for  College,  Camp,  or  Cabin 

(Male  Characters  only),  four  parts . each,  40 

DRAMAS  FOR  BOYS  (Male  Characters  only), 

by  Miss  Keating . 40 

HOME  PLAYS  FOR  LADIES  (Female 
Characters  only) ,  complete  in  three  part3. . . .  each,  40 
AN  EVENING’S  ENTERTAINMENT, 
an  original  Comedy,  a  Burlesque  and  Farce . 40 


THE  ETHIOPIAN  DRAMA. 


(NEW  SERIES.) 


a  and  Jinks 
'  Number 
>ody  s  Coat 
■>  Paris 
1  of  Dickens 
Ole  Bull 

jt  Tragedy  of  All 


NO. 

8  Tom  and  Jerry,  and  Who’s 

been  Here 

9  No  Tator,  or  Man  Fish 

10  Who  Stole  the  Chickens 

11  Upper  Ten  Thousand 

12  Hip  Van  Winkle 


NO. 

13  Ten  Days  in  the  Tombs 

14  Two  Pompeys 

15  Running  the  Blockade 

16  Jeemes  the  Poet 

17  Intelligence  Office 
13  Echo  Band 


NO. 

1 9  Deserters 

20  Deaf  as  a  Post 

21  Dead  Alive 

22  Cousin  Joe’s  Visit 

23  Boarding  School 

24  Academy  of  Stars 


Make-Airs 
l  Cox 
A 

States  Mail 
opers 
id  s  Cabin 
.ival  Lovers 
ham  Doctor 
Millers 

kins  and  his  Dinah 
'uack  Doctor 
ystic  Spell 
ack  Statue 
Jeff 

Sschievous  Nigger 

1  o r*  1r  QhAamftVpr 


NO. 

17  The  Magic  Penny 

18  The  Wreck  [  ny  Cupids 

19  Oh  Hushl  or  The  Virgin- 

20  The  Portrait  Painter 

21  The  Hop  of  Fashion 

22  Bone  Squash 

23  The  Virginia  Mummy 

24  Thieves  at  the  Mill 

25  Comedy  of  Errors 
2 1  Les  Miserables 

27  New  Year’s  Calls 
2£  Troublesome  Servant 
2ff  Great  Arrival 

30  Rooms  to  Let 

31  Black  Crook  Burlesque 

32  Ticket  Taker 


NO. 


48  Fighting  for  the  Union 

49  Hamlet  the  Dainty 

50  Corsican  Twins 

51  Deaf  —  in  a  Horn 

52  Challenge  Dance 

53  De  Trouble  begins  at  Nine 

54  Scenes  at  Gurney’s 

55  16,000  Y  ears  Ago 

56  Stage-struck  Darkey 

57  Black  Mail  l Clothes 

58  Highest  Price  for  Old 

59  Howls  from  the  Owl  Train 

60  Old  Hunks 

61  The  Three  Black  Smiths 

62  Turkeys  in  Season 


NO. 

33  Hypochondriac 

34  William  Tell 

35  Rose  Dale 
38  Feast 
87  Fenian  Spy 

38  Jack’s  the  Lad 

39  Othello 

40  Camille 

41  Nobody’s  Son 

42  Sports  on  a  Lark 

43  Actor  and  Singer 

44  Shy lock 

45  Quarrelsome  Servants 

46  Haunted  House 

_  _  47  No  Cure,  No  Pay 

/lack  Shoemaker 

Tony  Denier’s  Parlor  Pantomimes.— In  Ten  Parts,  25  Cts.  eaeh. 

No.  V.— The  Viyandiere  ;  or,  The  Daughter  of  the 
Regiment.  Dame  Trot  and  her  Comical  Cat; 
or,  The  Misfortunes  of  Johnny  Greene. 

No.  VI. — Godenski;  or,  The  Skaters  of  Wilnau. 

The  Enchanted  Horn  ;  or,  The  Witches’  Gift. 
No.  VII.— The  Soldier  for  Love  ;  or,  A  Hero  In 
Spite  of  Himself.  Simeon’s  Mishaps;  or,  The 
Hungarian  Rendezvous. 

No.  VIII.— The  Village  Ghost;  or,  Love  and 

t  Murder  both  Found  Out.  The  Fairies’  Frolic; 

— M.  Dechalumeau;  or^  The  Birthday  or,  The  Good  Wife  s  Three  Wishes. 

No.  IX.— The  Rose  of  Sharon  ;  or,  The  Unlucky 
Fisherman.  Pongo,  the  Intelligent  Ape,  and 
the  Unfortunate  Overseer. 


A  Memoir  of  the  Author.  By  Sylvester 
,  Esq.  How  to  Express  the  Various 
•vs,  Actions,  etc.  The  Four  Lovers  ;  or, 
ties’  Rendezvous.  The  Frisky  Cobbler  ; 
Rival  Artisans. 

|-The  Rise  and  ProgR3ss  of  Pantomime, 
hoolm aster  ;  or  the  School  in  an  Uproar. 
of  Madrid;  or,  a  Muleteer’s  Bride.  La 
s  Blanche  ;  or,  The  Lovers’  Stratagem. 

M.  Dechalumeau  ;  or,  The  Birthday 
.The  Demon  Lover;  or,  The  Frightened 
^y .  Robert  Macaire  ;  or,  Les  Deux  Fugitifs. 

V.— Jocko,  the  Brazilian  Ape;  or,  The 
)ievous  Monkey.  The  Conscript  ;  or,  How  to 
i  the  Draft.  The  Magic  Flute  ;  or,  The  Ma¬ 
li’s  Spell. 


No.  X.— Mons.  Toupet  the  Dancing  Barber  ; 
or,  Love  and  Lather.  Vol  au  Vent  and  the 
Millers  ;  or,  A  Night's  Adventures. 


Samuel  French,  Publisher,  , 

the  above  sent  by  Mail  or  Express,  on  receipt  of  price.  122  Nassau  Street  (Up  STAIRS).  I 

New  and  Explicit  Descriptive  Catalogue  Mailed  Free  on  Request. 


FRENCH’S  MINOR  DRAMA 

>  Price  16  Cents  each.— Bound  Volumes  $1. 26. 


VOL.  I. 

1  The  IriBh  Attorney 

2  Boots  at  the  Swan 

S  How  to  pay  the  Rent 

4  The  Loan  of  a  Lover 

5  Th*  Dead  Shot 

6  His  Last  Legs 

7  The  Invisible  Prince 

8  The  Golden  Farmer 

VOL.  II. 

9  Pride  of  the  Market 

10  Used  Up 

11  The  Irish  Tutor 

12  The  Barrack  Room 

13  Luke  the  Laborer 

14  Beauty  and  the  Beer’: 

15  St.  Patrick’s  Eve 

16  Ceptain  of  the  Watch 

VOL.  III. 

17  Tfre  Secret  [pers 

13  White  Horse  o'  tho  Pep- 

19  The  Jacob  if 

20  The  Bottle 

21  Box  and  Cox 

22  Bamboozling 

23  Widow's  Victim 

24  Robert  Macaire 

VOL,  IV. 

25  Secret  Service 

26  Omnibus 

27  Irish  Lion 

28  Maid  of  Croissy 
20-  The  Old  Guar  1 

30  Raising  the  Wind 

31  Slasher  and  Crasher 

32  Naval  Engagements 

VOL.  V. 

S3  Oocknies  in  California 

34  Who  Speaks  First 

35  Bombastes  Furioso 

36  Macbeth' Travestie 

37  Irish  Ambassador 

38  Delicate  Ground 


VOL.  X.  fc 

73  Ireland  and  America 

74  Pretty  Piece  of  Business 
75, Irish  Broom-maker 

76  To  Paris  and  Back  for 

Five  Pounds 

77  That  Blessed  Baby 

78  Our  Gal 

79  Swiss  Cottage 

80  Young  Widow 

VOL.  XI. 

81  O’Flannigan  and  the  Fa- 

82  It  UiPo?t  [ries 

83  My  Neighbor’s  Wife 

84  Irish  Tiger 
8  5  W.  P .  or  Man  and  Tiger 

86  To  Oblige  BenBon 

87  State  Secrets 

88  Irish  Yank  to 


VOL.  XII. 

89  A  Good  Fellow 

90  Cherry  and  Fair  Star 

91  Gale  Breezily 

92  Our  Jemimy 
S3  Miller’  £  Maid 

94  Awkward  Arrival 

95  Crossing  the  Line 

96  Conjugal  Lesson 

VOL.  XIII. 

97  My  Wife’s  Mirror 

93  Life  in  New  York 
99  Mid2y  Ashore 

1 90  Crown  Prinoe 

101  Two  Queens 

102  Thumping  Legacy 

103  Unfinished  Gentleman 

104  House  Dog 
VOL.  XIV. 

105  The  Demon  Lover 
[106  Matrimony 

107  In  and  Out  of  Place 

108  I  Dine  with  My  Mother 

109  Hi-a-wa-tha 


39  The  Weathercock  [Gold,,Al0  Andy  Blake 

40  A.11  that  Glitters  is  Not' 111  Love  in  ’76 


VOL.  VI. 

41  Grimshaw,  Bagshaw  and 

Bradshaw 

42  Rough  Diamond 

43  Bloomer  Costume 

44  Two  Bonnycastles 

45  Born  to  Good  Luck 

46  Kiss  in  the  Dark  [jurer 

47  'Twould  Puzzle  a  Con- 

48  Kill  or  Cure 


VOL.  VII. 

49  Box  and  Cox  Married  and 
60  St.  Cupid  [Settled 

51  Go-to-bed  Tom 
62  Tbe  Lawyers 
5  3  Jack  Sheppard 
54  The  Toodles 

65  The  Mobcap 

66  Ladies  Beware 


VOL.  VIII. 

67  Morning  Call 

58  Pop  ping  the  Question 

59  Deaf  as  a  Post 

60  New  Footman 

61  Pleasant  Neighbor 

62  Paddy  the  Piper 

63  Brian  O’ Linn 

64  Irish  Assurance 


VOL.  IX. 

65  Temptation 

66  Paddy  Carey 

67  Two  Gregories 

68  King  Charming 

69  Po-ca-hon-tas 

70  Clockmaker’s  Hat 

71  Married  Rake 

72  Love  and  Murder 

VOL.  XXXVII. 

JOT  411  tbe  World’s  a  Stage 
ar.’i *  y  nash,  or  Nigger  Practice 
*31  Turn  Him  Out 


302  t 


»3  An°efof  the  Attic 
291  (’ir-Mirostances  alter  Cases 
206  ka.t>  O’Shea l 
i?f  A  Snpjiet  in  Dixie 


[ties 

112  Romance  under  Difficul- 
VOL.  XV. 

113  One  Coat  for  2  Suits 

114  A  Decided  Case 

115  Daughter  [nority 

116  No ;  or,  the  Glorious  Mi¬ 
ll!  Coroner’s  Inquisition 

118  Love  in  Humble  Life 

119  Family  Jars 

120  Personation 
VOL.  XVI. 

121  Children  in  the  Wood 

122  Winning  a  Husband 

123  Day  after  the  Fair 

124  Make  Your  Wills 

125  Rendezvous 

126  My  Wife's  Husband 

127  Monsieur  Tonson 

128  Illustrious  Stranger 
VOL.  XVII 

129  Mischief-Making  [Mines 

130  A  Live  Woman  in  the 

131  The  Corsair 

132  Shylock 

133  Spoiled  Child 

134  Evil  E^e 

135  Nothing  to  Nurse 

136  Wanted  a  Widow 
VOL.  XVIII. 

137  Lottery  Ticket 

138  Fortune’s  Frolic 

139  Is  be  Jealous ( 
i.40  Married  Bachelor 

141  Husoand  at  Sight 

142  .irishman  in  London 

143  Animal  Magnetism 

144  Highways  and  By-Way* 

VOL.  XXXVIII. 

297  lei  on  -le  Francr.L 

298  Who  killed  Cock  Robin 

299  Decimation  of  Independence 

300  Head*  or  Tails 

301  Obstinate  Family 
202  My  Aunt 

303  That  Rascal  Pat 

304  Don  Paddy  de  Bazan 


yi 


VOL.  VII. 

145  Columbus 

146  Harlequin  Bluebeard 

147  Ladies  at  Home 

148  Phenomenon  in  a  Smock 
Frock 

149  Comedy  and  Tragedy 

150  Opposite  Neighbors 
lol  Dutchman’s  Ghost 

152  Persecuted  Dutchman 
VOL.  XX. 

153  Musard  Ball 

154  Great  Tragic  Revival 

155  High  Low  Jack  &  Game 

156  A  Gentleman  from  Ire- 

157  Tom  and  Jerry  [land 

158  Village  Lawyer 

159  Captain’s  not  A -miss 

160  Amateurs  and  Actors 
VOL.  XXI. 

161  Promotion  fual 

162  A  Fascinating  Individ- 

163  Mrs.  Caudle 

164  Shc.kspeare’s  Dream 

165  Neptune’s  Defeat 

166  Lady  of  Bedchamber 

167  Take  Care  of  Little 

168  Irish  Widow  [  Charley 
VOL.  XXII. 

169  Yankee  Peddlar 
,170  Hiram  Hireout 

7>  ih7s-Bedded  Roo"' 
•ama  IXjfendeuL 

173  Vermont  Wool  Dealer 

174  Ebem  zer  Vehtiye  [ter 

175  Princioles  from  v  harac- 

176  Lady  of  the  Lake  (Trav) 
VOL.  XXIII. 

177  Mad  Dogs 

178  Barney  the  Baron 

179  Swiss  Swains 

180  Bachelor’s  Bedroom 

181  A  Roland  for  an  Oliver 

182  More  B'-  nders  than  One 

183  Dumb  R  ile 

184  Limerick  Boy 
VOL.  XXIV. 

185  Nature  and  Philosophy 

186  Teddy  the  Tiler 

187  Spectre  Bridgroom 

188  Matte o  F:  coue 

189  Jenny  Lind 

190  Two  Buzzards 

191  Happy  Man 
182  Betsy  Baker 

VOL.  XXV. 

193  No.  1  Round  the  Corner 

194  Teddy  Roe 

195  Object  of  Interest 

196  My  Fellow  Clerk 
-197  Bengal  Tiger 

Laughing  Hyena 

199  The  Victor  Vanquished 

200  Our  Wife 
VOL.  XXVI. 

201  My  Husband’s  Mirror 

202  Yankee  Land. 

203  Norah  Creina 
Good  for  Nothing 

205  The  First  Night 

206  The  Eton  Boy 

207  Wandering  Minstrel 
Wanted,  1000  Milliners 

VOL.  XXVII. 

208  Poor  Pitcoddy 

210  The  Mummy  i  Glasses 

211  Don’t  Forget  your  Opera. 

212  Love  in  Livery 

213  Anthony  and  Cleopatra 

214  Trying  It  On. 

215  Stage  Struck  Yankee 

216  Young  Wife  &  Old  Um¬ 

brella 

VOL.  XXIX.  [ture 
305  Too  Much  for  Good  Na- 
H06  Cure  for  the  Fidgets 

307  Jack’s  the  Lad 

308  Much  A  do  about  Nothing 


VOL.  XXVIII, 

217  Crinoline 

218  A  Family  Falling 

219  Adopted  Child 
229  Turned  Heads  ] 

221  A  Match  in  the  Dai 

222  Advice  to  Husb?,n( 

223  Siamese  Twins 
124  Sent  to  the  Tower 

VOL.  XXIX 

225  Somebody  Else 

226  Ladies'  Battle 
(227  Art  of  Acting 

228  The  Lady  of  the  L| 

229  The  Fights  of  Mar 


?  Gh 


*7 


.maj 


230  My  Husband’ 

231  Two  Can  P 

Game 

232  Fighting  by  I 
VOL.  X 

233  Unprotected 

234  Pet  of  the  Petticoa 

235  Forty  and  Fifty 

236  Who  Stole  the  P, 

237  My  Son  Diana 

238  Unwarrantable 

239  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Wh 

240  A  Quiet  Family 
VOL.  XXXI. 

241  Cool  fts  Cucambe' 

242  Sudden  Thought. 

243  Jumbo  Jum 

244  A  Blighted  Bein^ 

245  Little  T oddlekins 

246  A  Lover  by  Proxy 

247  Maid  with  the  3k 

248  Perplexing  Predi< 

VOL.  XXXII. 

249  Dr.  Dilworth 

250  Out  to  Nurse 

251  A  Lucky  Hit 

252  The  Dowager 

253  Metamora  (Buries 

254  Dreams  of  Delusio 

255  The  Shalt  er  Lover 

256  Ticklish  Times 
VOL.  XXXIII. 

257  20  Minutes  withi 
253  Miralda:  or,  the 

of  Tacon 

259  A  Soldier’s  Oou 

260  Servants  by  1 

261  Dying  for  Love 

262  Alarming  Saci; 

263  Valet  de  Sham' 

264  Nicholas  Nickh 


309  Artful  Dodger 


310  Winning  Hazard 

311  Day’s  Pishing 


[4c. 

312  Did  you  ever  send  your, 


VOL.  XXXI 
265  The  Last  of  the 
King  Rene’s  D 

267  The  Grotto  Nym 

268  A  Devilish  Good 

269  A  Twice  Told  T' 

270  Pas  de  Fascina 

271  Revolutionary  ' 

272  A  Man  Without 
VOL.  XXX\ 

273  The  Olio,  Part 

274  The  Olio,  Part 

275  The  Olio,  Part 

276  The  Trumpeter’ 

277  Seeing  Warren 

278  Green  Mountai 

279  That  Nose 

280  Tom  Noddy’s  S 

VOL.  XXX 

281  Shocking  Eve; 
2S2  A  Regular  Fir 

283  Diqk  Turpin 

284  Young  Scamp 

285  Young  Actresr1 

286  Call  at  No.  1--' 

287  One  Touch  of 

288  Two  B'hoya 

VOL.  XXX 

313  An  Irishman’s 

314  Cousin  Fannie 

315  ’Tisthe  Darkest  H 

316  Masquerade  [lor 

317  Crowding  the  Seas 

318  Good  Night’s  Res 

319  Man  with  theCai 

320  Terrible  Tinker 


SAMUEL  FRENCH  4  SON,  123  Nassau  Strbkt,  Nkw  York. 


UNIVERSITY  OF  ILLINOIS-URBANA 


